Date 11- Whine and Cheese

Vanilla and I have corresponded steadily throughout my dating hiatus, and make plans to reconnect. I am curious to see if there is really anything there- I am growing increasingly weary of his oversharing, and am concerned that the man simply might not have any fire to him. Been there, done that, and am avoiding burdensome toenail boyfriends like the plague.

Per his suggestion, we meet at a wine bar in our neighborhood and share a bottle of Albarino while we catch up. We discuss work, some interesting ideas he has had percolating for businesses, then settle deeply into a conversation about his fucked up family. As frequently happens in wealthy clans, the family discussion is inextricably tied to money. There are businesses, properties, accounts to be settled in the wake of his father's death, and much more to be discussed under the suspicious circumstances of his demise. Vanilla is dealing with police investigators, and seems consumed but strangely comfortable with his anger and bitterness. Dare I say, he is reveling in his fury, which is a concern as I am starting to detect a strange dark streak in this fellow. I could deal with grief more easily than I can deal with gleeful vengeance. He is after retribution, and plans to celebrate appropriately when it is achieved. My own family is less than perfect and I know that revenge won't heal wounds that have festered for years; they will never right the wrongs or give you back lost time. I feel badly for him, but after only 2 dates I am not yet in a position to be deeply involved or concerned yet and find the whole situation to be bizarre.

After we finish the bottle, we walk to his apartment to relax for a few minutes and continue the conversation. It is large, masculine, full of concert posters, computers, books and gadgets. While I prowl around, I find myself confused: although I am not particuarly attracted to this man, why is he not trying to bust some moves? He is a man, after all. I'm not sure I understand a man who doesn't go for the gold when its in an enclosed space with them, but I suppose he is saving me the inevitable trouble of turning him down. After another tepid 15 minutes of chit chat and pesky little butterfly kisses, I tell him I have an early day and have to run. He doesn't look particularly upset, which naturally really upsets me. His birthday is just a few days away so we make tentative plans to connect at some point to celebrate. As I walk back to my apartment, I contemplate the slightly tortured and broken man I left behind; I don't know what the future holds, but I am certain I don't want to be responsible for fixing him.

DATE ELEVEN- We put the FUN in dysfunctional.

APRES DINNER TREAT- E-cig laced with marijuana oil. Vanilla indulges in a bit of the

P-O-T on the R-E-G!

WINE PAIRING- A minerally Spanish white is the highlight of an otherwise tedious evening.